Snowflakes

17 Jul

Like a hot air balloon
you rose, silently

Drifted away
along the lightest wind

I lay in rain and storm
anchored to the ground

Saw tough and taut
the connecting line

A message in a bottle
arrived from afar

The paper withered
it had your writing

I looked up in surprise
pulled the line in the sky

It dissolved into dust
and fell like snowflakes

I stand here still
staring into the void

In the cold shower of the past

This is my entry for the Short Story Slam Week 1 http://bluebellbooks.blogspot.com/2011/05/short-story-slam.html

This is my entry for the Short Story Slam Week 1

Write Hard Award -  awarded by Bluebell Books

Write Hard Award - awarded by Bluebell Books

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18 Responses to “Snowflakes”

  1. Jingle July 17, 2011 at 2:14 PM #

    amazing one.

    apt, wise, and beautiful.

    Like

    • Grå Sky July 17, 2011 at 8:08 PM #

      Oh, thanks so much Jingle! I am stoked that you like it. I did a couple of mods on it to make the end better and more concise.

      Like

  2. danroberson July 17, 2011 at 9:53 PM #

    In the cold shower of the past……for me all my imaginings kept running into those cold showers and I was left with reality each time.
    Your poem is well written and beautiful. I agree with Jingle.

    Like

    • Grå Sky July 17, 2011 at 10:29 PM #

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting Dan. I really appreciate it. I am glad that i have managed to share that experience, even though it is not all pleasant. I visited your blog too and love your writings!

      Like

  3. brownpaperbaggirl July 17, 2011 at 11:25 PM #

    Vivid writing. Really captured the emotions in this poem.

    Like

    • Grå Sky July 18, 2011 at 7:39 AM #

      Thanks so much for your kind words Brownpapergilrl. I just read your entry on the Thursday Rally and its beautiful. Love your imagery.

      Like

  4. mish July 18, 2011 at 6:52 PM #

    A beautiful piece of writing … great imagery … and the cold , harsh reality at the end !

    Like

    • Grå Sky July 18, 2011 at 7:44 PM #

      I really appreciate it Mish. Thanks so much!

      Like

  5. The Oldstrong July 19, 2011 at 8:42 AM #

    really well written. beautiful and concise

    Like

    • Grå Sky July 19, 2011 at 7:14 PM #

      I really appreciate it Oldstrong, thanks so much 🙂 Love you work too. It´s powerful!

      Like

  6. mindlovemisery July 19, 2011 at 5:47 PM #

    Beautiful, tremendous feeling and depth love it

    Like

    • Grå Sky July 19, 2011 at 7:06 PM #

      Awe, thanks so much mindlovemisery -I can only say the same about your latest Blind Spot. It hit recognition in my heart, and so did your observing perspective, and the underlying hurt and disappointment. *hugs*

      Like

  7. Joel Hall July 26, 2011 at 4:11 AM #

    This positively rocks my socks. The imagery is magical. This evoked a strong memory of someone that drifted out of my life and never looked back.

    Like

    • Grå Sky September 21, 2011 at 8:51 PM #

      Thanks so much Joel! I have been away for long and just got back on the blog, 1.5 months of holiday and then back to a table loaded with work :)) Back now, so I will push in time for writing and for reading your latest work. Cheers again 🙂

      Like

  8. Mary Bruce Leopold Holm Reed February 8, 2017 at 7:13 PM #

    excellent.

    Like

  9. Mary Bruce Leopold Holm Reed February 8, 2017 at 7:13 PM #

    a story is told by heart,
    which makes it remarkable.

    Like

  10. Grå Sky July 18, 2011 at 6:22 PM #

    Thanks so much Bluebell books! 🙂

    Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Short Story Slam Week 5 Participation Awards | Bluebell Ocean Waves - July 18, 2011

    […] Grå Sky […]

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