Snowflakes

17 Jul

Like a hot air balloon
you rose, silently

Drifted away
along the lightest wind

I lay in rain and storm
anchored to the ground

Saw tough and taut
the connecting line

A message in a bottle
arrived from afar

The paper withered
it had your writing

I looked up in surprise
pulled the line in the sky

It dissolved into dust
and fell like snowflakes

I stand here still
staring into the void

In the cold shower of the past

This is my entry for the Short Story Slam Week 1

Write Hard Award - awarded by Bluebell Books

Comments 19 Comments
Categories Poetry

19 Responses to “Snowflakes”

Jingle July 17, 2011 at 2:14 PM #

amazing one.

apt, wise, and beautiful.

LikeLike

Reply
- Grå Sky July 17, 2011 at 8:08 PM #
  
  Oh, thanks so much Jingle! I am stoked that you like it. I did a couple of mods on it to make the end better and more concise.
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply
danroberson July 17, 2011 at 9:53 PM #

In the cold shower of the past……for me all my imaginings kept running into those cold showers and I was left with reality each time.
Your poem is well written and beautiful. I agree with Jingle.

LikeLike

Reply
- Grå Sky July 17, 2011 at 10:29 PM #
  
  Thank you so much for reading and commenting Dan. I really appreciate it. I am glad that i have managed to share that experience, even though it is not all pleasant. I visited your blog too and love your writings!
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply
brownpaperbaggirl July 17, 2011 at 11:25 PM #

Vivid writing. Really captured the emotions in this poem.

LikeLike

Reply
- Grå Sky July 18, 2011 at 7:39 AM #
  
  Thanks so much for your kind words Brownpapergilrl. I just read your entry on the Thursday Rally and its beautiful. Love your imagery.
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply
mish July 18, 2011 at 6:52 PM #

A beautiful piece of writing … great imagery … and the cold , harsh reality at the end !

LikeLike

Reply
- Grå Sky July 18, 2011 at 7:44 PM #
  
  I really appreciate it Mish. Thanks so much!
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply
The Oldstrong July 19, 2011 at 8:42 AM #

really well written. beautiful and concise

LikeLike

Reply
- Grå Sky July 19, 2011 at 7:14 PM #
  
  I really appreciate it Oldstrong, thanks so much 🙂 Love you work too. It´s powerful!
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply
mindlovemisery July 19, 2011 at 5:47 PM #

Beautiful, tremendous feeling and depth love it

LikeLike

Reply
- Grå Sky July 19, 2011 at 7:06 PM #
  
  Awe, thanks so much mindlovemisery -I can only say the same about your latest Blind Spot. It hit recognition in my heart, and so did your observing perspective, and the underlying hurt and disappointment. *hugs*
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply
Joel Hall July 26, 2011 at 4:11 AM #

This positively rocks my socks. The imagery is magical. This evoked a strong memory of someone that drifted out of my life and never looked back.

LikeLike

Reply
- Grå Sky September 21, 2011 at 8:51 PM #
  
  Thanks so much Joel! I have been away for long and just got back on the blog, 1.5 months of holiday and then back to a table loaded with work :)) Back now, so I will push in time for writing and for reading your latest work. Cheers again 🙂
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply
Mary Bruce Leopold Holm Reed February 8, 2017 at 7:13 PM #

excellent.

LikeLike

Reply
Mary Bruce Leopold Holm Reed February 8, 2017 at 7:13 PM #

a story is told by heart,
which makes it remarkable.

LikeLike

Reply
- Grå Sky September 27, 2017 at 12:03 AM #
  
  thanks so much Mary!
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply
Grå Sky July 18, 2011 at 6:22 PM #

Thanks so much Bluebell books! 🙂

LikeLike

Reply